The Mayonnaise Jar And 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem
Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar
And 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large
And empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students
If the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles
And poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open
Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked
The students again
If the jar was full..
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
And poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded
With an unanimous
"yes."

The professor then produced
Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents
Into the jar, effectively filling the
Empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor,
As the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that
This jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things -
Family, children, health,
Friends, and favorite passions --
Things that if everything else was lost
And only they remained,
Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter
Like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first,"
He continued,
"there is no room for
The pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time
And energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for
The things that are
Important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things
That are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.

There will always be time
To clean the house
And fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
"I'm glad you asked".

It just goes to show you that no matter how full
your life may
seem,
there's always room for
a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

A Joke To Share

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban Sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, Connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA Page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation System to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Democrat Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing was required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.