Me

Me

i look in the mirror
and yet, ...do not see my own reflection
my image of me is one of the past
i see before someone i do not know
yet fear all the while
she is my mother in so many ways
that it makes me weep
and i float away on my own tears

back to a land of memories
of old and young and good and bad
i see myself then and imagine myself now
a grown up me still....searching for that lost childhood

the mirror image tells me she is me.
and i am confused and alarmed
my panic rises and my thoughts are lost
i begin the ride of my own fears

i see flashes of my past within the new
the past pain floods my being and overwhelms me
my heart races like a speeding bullet
and yet, the old ways to calm myself are there

the image has eyes to make you cry
within thier depths lie pain and sorror
her feelings and pain a symbol of her life
and yet....all the while she crys

i do not know the image i see
my fear hides her away
the tears i cry blur her vision
and the memories escape to a childhood of long ago
once again the saddness rules
and the image is no longer mine


slthomas

To My Angels

To My Angels

though you may not walk among me
your always by my side
your never from my thoughts
from you my tears i do not hide
you will never walk with others
and no one else will know your touch
you were so alive to me
and i love you very much
today i sat and thought of you
i cried a mothers tears
i dreamed of holding you in my arms
of lifes hopes and fears
but you walk among the angels
you sing thier joyful song
you touch my heart when i need you
and never leave me long
i walk lifes bitter path
and count my angels three
i shut my eyes and see
in my heart your always with me
s.l.thomas

How Quick 11 Years Goes By

Tomorrow is a sad anniversary for me. It will be 11 years since I miscarried my first baby. I was 11 and 1/2 weeks along, when I started bleeding and miscarried. I was home alone at the time. I have never felt so alone as I did that morning. And Even though I have had 3 other children...They do not really replace that child, or the other children I would lose after that one. It doesnt erase the hurt of that one baby, Who I dreamed of. Who I made plans for. I would have a 10 year old right now. It is suppose to hurt less as time goes on, but it doesnt. That hurt just stays right there.

Life Is All Wrong -Mid Week Epistole By Jim Massey

Life is All Wrong

An older gentleman was driving down the freeway, and his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Highway 280. Please be careful!"

“Hey," said Herman, "it's not just one car. There are hundreds of them!"

Maybe if it seems like you are going the wrong way in life, you need to look at the direction you are taking. Maybe you are going against God's guidance and love.

Loving Father, turn our hearts back to the way that You have for us. Do not let us destroy all that You have blessed us with because we have made a wrong turn in life. Come and guide us once again, in Christ's name we pray. Amen.

This has been Rev. Jim Massey. Join me next week and we will see about the way God fills a vessel.

A New Future

Yesterday, a whole new generation was born. Chloie Rafferty Entered the world. She was 6lbs and 12.5oz.

A few Pictures.


Aunt Kaylyn and Chloie


Aunt Brittany and Chloie

I remember when they were just that small. *sniff sniff* doesn't seem like Matt Should be a dad. What a Blessing from God.