Me

Me

i look in the mirror
and yet, ...do not see my own reflection
my image of me is one of the past
i see before someone i do not know
yet fear all the while
she is my mother in so many ways
that it makes me weep
and i float away on my own tears

back to a land of memories
of old and young and good and bad
i see myself then and imagine myself now
a grown up me still....searching for that lost childhood

the mirror image tells me she is me.
and i am confused and alarmed
my panic rises and my thoughts are lost
i begin the ride of my own fears

i see flashes of my past within the new
the past pain floods my being and overwhelms me
my heart races like a speeding bullet
and yet, the old ways to calm myself are there

the image has eyes to make you cry
within thier depths lie pain and sorror
her feelings and pain a symbol of her life
and yet....all the while she crys

i do not know the image i see
my fear hides her away
the tears i cry blur her vision
and the memories escape to a childhood of long ago
once again the saddness rules
and the image is no longer mine


slthomas