Two Poems

Untitled 1

i miss you
i miss our bodies lieing together
wrapped up as one soul
one dream of the future
one beat away from complete totalness
i wish we could be together again
like we were before
but now everything is different
everything is a heartbeat away from chaos
and we are together..yet apart
i dream of you
and things being as they were before
when our hearts beat as one
its not that i am unhappy with now
i just....
miss yesterday
and us
things are so new...and unexpected
I wish for just a minute
i could see that old look
You used to look at me with such love
but now all i see is tiredness in your eyes.
no desire, no need, nothing for me.
I wonder if you still love me
Will I ever see that look again?
or is it gone forever
Does the sleeplessness wash away your feelings
were they ever really true?
I keep dreaming and I wait..and I hope
that one day..
i will see that look again in your eyes
Again... you will love me.
s.l.thomas


Untitled 2

tonight I called out for you
and even though you were close you did not hear my cry
my heart sank and my dreams with it
i dreamed i was lieing with you
and you with me
two as one
tonight i dreamed of our yesterday
a past of longing and wonderment
an inimaginable beating of one..yet two
a rhythem of loving and raw need
a look of longing and impromtu gestures
overwhelming feelings and the earth moved
in my dream i too was thrown in motion
i was set free and i flew on the wings of hope
i tackled the undoable and was able to soar
i took the love in your eyes and was set free
but it was only a dream of the past
the present is so chaotic and clausterphobic
entrenched in lonelyness
alone i sit
waiting for you to return to me
for our yesterday and todays dream
for you to once again, love me
s.l.thomas

The Two Left's

I am going to use different post from a debate to make my point on this. This debate was on a current debate forum of a parenting board. I myself did not post to this thread, I should add.

There are two current sides to the "left." There is the extreme and the moderate. They are argueing among themselves on DU and in other debate forums. The division of the two can be seen, even when they are not argueing with each other.

The debate I am going to use was on issues related to the current Disaster in Southern Asia. But what was seen was this.... That no matter what Bush does, he loses.

Well, Bush has spoken!

"Together ... we will prevail over this destruction," he said.

YUCK!!!!!!! More militaristic mumbo jumbo!

This user in particular has a very distorted view of the left. another post from her explained that giving wheat as a christmas gift was equal to feeding people she loved poison.

But another group of leftist from other countries explained in this same thread how the United States didnt care what was happening because we were not talking about it one very message board they happen to post on.

Hmm....not sure where they were looking since Drudge has run a story on it everyday this week. Actually, many stories. It has been basically the only thing talked about on DU, CU and the hannity forums.

No matter what President Bush does he will not make these people happy. Now, the UN is upset that Bush formed a coalition for the AID to southern Asia. Oh, gee. Let's critize them for doing something good because they did not do it through our corrupt organization.

[b]Bush 'Undermining UN with Aid Coalition' [/b]

By Jamie Lyons, PA Political Correspondent


[b]United States President George Bush was tonight accused of trying to undermine the United Nations by setting up a rival coalition to coordinate relief following the Asian tsunami disaster.[/b]

The president has announced that the US, Japan, India and Australia would coordinate the world’s response.

But former International Development Secretary Clare Short said that role should be left to the UN.

“I think this initiative from America to set up four countries claiming to coordinate sounds like yet another attempt to undermine the UN when it is the best system we have got and the one that needs building up,” she said.

“Only really the UN can do that job,” she told BBC Radio Four’s PM programme.

“It is the only body that has the moral authority. But it can only do it well if it is backed up by the authority of the great powers.”

Ms Short said the coalition countries did not have good records on responding to international disasters.

She said the US was “very bad at coordinating with anyone” and India had its own problems to deal with.

“I don’t know what that is about but it sounds very much, I am afraid, like the US trying to have a separate operation and not work with the rest of the world through the UN system,” she added.

The Tsunami

As of tonight Death Tolls Reach over 100,000 people died. I can not even imagine the grief familys are feeling. Those who stood and watched the sea take away thier children.

The UN decided the USA is being stingy with our own money-- only to back down from that statement, and Liberals spent the last few days fighting over why we should give the money that will go the Presidents Inaguration to the disaster relief. Democratic Underground spent time critizing Bush for not speaking out right away. While Conservatives were happy that the USA went around the UN and formed its own coalition of Aid for these nations torn by Mother Natures hand.

Nations give Aid and Nations refuse Aid. First Isreals Gift is turned down by Sri Lanka. And now, India refuses foreign aid for relief of the devastation. Of course the worst is yet to come. Southern Asia worrys about Diseases. These diseases could kill as many as have already died.

And now the question becomes, How can I help? Click there for a list of organizations that are collecting to send items and money to the area. Pray. Please Pray.

There is a reason we do not pray for the dead. They have already gone on to thier afterlife. We pray for those left behind. Because they are the ones left with the grief to bare. May God touch those left behind and heal thier hearts.

There are storys of Hope....this is one. Here is a Link to another.

Floating mattress saves 20-day-old baby from drowning

PENANG: While thousands of people lost their lives when a tsunami hit the region, a 20-day-old baby survived, thanks to a floating mattress.

When the tsunami hit the popular Miami Beach in Batu Ferringhi here at about 1.15pm, S. Tulasi was sleeping in a room behind her father’s western food outlet along the beach.

“We were all caught off guard when the wave hit us. I was thrown several metres away but managed to hold onto one of the posts but my 12-year-old daughter was swept by the wave,” said A. Suppiah.

Suppiah, 55, said his wife, Annal Mary, 40, braved the strong wave to open the room door to save their baby.

“I thought I had lost both my daughters but thank God the mattress was floating in about 1.5m of water and my baby was crying. My other daughter, Kanchana somehow managed to get to her feet and run to safety,” said Suppiah who injured his right ankle.

Suppiah, who has been running the outlet for the past 10 years, said the wave caused about RM30,000 in losses.

“I don’t know what to do now. My livelihood depends on tourists staying in the hotels around here and daily visitors. I hope the Government will allow me to continue doing business here,” he added.

For ice cream seller, A. Subramaniam, the safety of a few hundred picnickers was his main concern when he saw an unusual wave moving towards Teluk Bahang beach.

“I had never seen such a wave. I knew something was wrong as the wave was dark and as high as a coconut tree,” he said.

Riding a 200kg motorcycle loaded with ice cream, Subramaniam said he rode on the sand and screamed to the picnickers to leave the place.

“But many of them just stood and watched the coming wave. The first wave was not that strong but the second one was very powerful and lasted about five minutes,” he added.

Subramaniam said he managed to prevent a 16-year-old girl from being swept away by the wave.

“Fortunately enough, the people there ran to safety before the second wave came. But when I rushed to Batu Ferringhi, I saw many people being swept by the wave,” he said.

His son, Kugilan, 14, who was selling ice cream in Tanjong Bungah, said he saw several children being swept by the waves.

“Their parents tried to pull them but the waves were very strong,” he said. – Bernama

Changes in the Plan

So, Our Christmas Eve did not turn out as we had expected it to be. Right now I am suppose to be standing in front of the full church singing my celebration unto the Lord. Thankfully laying my heart before him, as I take communion.

Our Christmas did not work out that way. My husband runs two hotels. The person who was suppose to work the 2nd shift at one did not show up. Such is life. The important thing is that we were all together.

So, I packed up the Kid's christmas eve present. PJ's of course. And I packed up our christmas eve snack/dinner. I stopped and picked up a few accessorys courtsey of Sonic....and we had our christmas eve together in the office of the hotel.

Of course our dinner, get together was inturpted a few times by guest. I am not complaining though. Lot's of guest mean it is a good month for our hotels. A good month here means bonus's from our parent company. More money in January. God again has blessed us.

Life is much like today's christmas eve. It does not always go the way you plan. But that is ok. Sometimes it is just important that we seek out the good in the path we have been asked to walk. God often has a plan for us. It is not always clear to us. And sometimes, we beg Him for a different direction. But He always has a plan for us. I am just thankful, He allows me to sometimes be filled with His will. Allows me to do His work here on earth. Allows me the chance to show Him, how much I love Him.

Dear Father,
Tonight on this most holy of nights. As we celebrate the gift You gave to each of us. The gift of life and light. You are so close to us, I open my heart so that you will come in and fill me. Dear Lord, Let me always be a vessel for you. Let me always walk in your light. Let me always do your will where I can. Lord, Let me worthy of your gift. The Son, The Light, The Life ever lasting. Lord, Make me worthy. May I always fall on my knees and give you praise and thanks. Your Child.

The Holidays are almost upon us...

Tonight is the Christmas party for my husbands employee's. My husband showed up last night with 6 bags of food including a giant turkey. He then decided to ask me if I would, in fact, cook all the food for the dinner tonight. lol. It is a very very good thing, I love that man with all my heart. Or he may of been hit up side the head with the giant turkey.

So, Last Night I baked 3 cakes. White cake with White Icing, Chocolate cake with Chocolate Icing, and a Carrot cake with Cream Cheese Icing. I have been up since 7 am cooking a turkey and I have rolls rising. In fear of not having enough rolls, I sent Brian back out today for quick Brown and Serve Rolls to add to the homemade ones I am making.

I wrapped his presents for his gift exchange, While I talked on the phone with my sister. My family lives 2,000 miles away and although my sister and I talk Once a week or more, I still miss her a lot. I actually have 3 sisters, but this one and I are only 16 months apart. I am the oldest of 4 girls.

About 1 I will be able to pull the turkey out and bake the rolls. By 2 I need to have the corn in the crockpot to cook. Things will get really crazy about 3:30-4. That is when the Yams have to go in the oven, I have to peel 10 lbs of potoatos for mashed potoatos, and Get the Carrots ready to go on. No stuffing this year. The baked potoatos too will have to go in about 3:30. I better add to my list that time.

We have 40 employee's and thier familys coming for dinner. Thankfully, the one hotel has a breakfast room, where we will all sit as a family and take our meal. This staff has become our family. At least part of it. People argue, They take care of each other when they need taking care of, and more then that...they love each other. We are so blessed to have these people in our lives. Life is not always easy living on the property of the two hotels. There is always something that needs our urgent attention. But God has truely led us here.

I hope you each have a wonderful holiday. May God bless you too this Wonderful Christmas.

Fetus vs Baby

From fetus to baby
Rich Lowry

In a spectacular murder case in Missouri, Lisa Montgomery strangled to death Bobbie Jo Stinnett, who was eight months pregnant. Montgomery cut open Stinnett's womb and kidnapped her child. This is a horrific crime that, like the Scott Peterson case, opens an uncomfortable window into our culture's tortured reasoning on anything related to unborn life.

During the coverage of the crime, the status of the Bobbie Jo Stinnett's unborn girl steadily changed. All at once on AOL News during the weekend, there were headlines tracking events in the case: "Woman Slain, Fetus Stolen"; "Woman Arrested, Baby Returned in Bizarre Murder"; "Infant in Good Health." Note how a "fetus" -- something for which American law and culture has very little respect -- was somehow instantly transformed into a "baby" and "infant" -- for which we have the highest respect. By what strange alchemy does that happen?

An AP story effected this magic transition all in one sentence: "Authorities said Montgomery, 36, confessed to strangling Bobbie Jo Stinnett of Skidmore, Mo., on Thursday, cutting out the fetus and taking the baby back to Kansas." At one point, when Montgomery was still at large, an Amber Alert went out about the Stinnett girl, putting news organizations in the strange position of reporting such an alert for what many of them were still calling a "fetus."

Given that fetuses are routinely destroyed in America (and legally can be destroyed up to the point of delivery), it was odd to see such an uproar about the welfare of one. Indeed, it is tempting to say that from a pure legal point of view, Lisa Montgomery simply killed the wrong victim, taking the life of the mom instead of the fetus.

But that's not entirely true. Earlier this year Congress passed the Unborn Victims of Violence Act partly in reaction to the Peterson case, making it a crime to harm an unborn baby while assaulting the mother. Kate Michelman, president of NARAL, complained that President Bush is doing "everything in his power to restrict a woman's right to choose." Right to choose what? To have her baby harmed by an assailant?

Pro-choicers realize that recognizing the legal status of a fetus in any way undermines a crucial philosophical support of the pro-choice position -- that a baby in the womb has no rights that we are bound to respect. The Missouri "Unborn Child" law, which is in play in the Stinnett case, says "unborn children have protectable interests in life, health, and well-being." The attitude behind that law is impossible to square with the animating principle of Roe v. Wade, which protects any abortion, any time.

The Stinnett case is unusual, but violence against pregnant women -- usually committed by the biological fathers -- is not. According to The Washington Post, homicide is the leading cause of death in pregnant women. It is partly because the boyfriends or lovers decide they don't want the "fetus." As the Post put it in explaining one typical murder, the father "at first denied it was his child, then pressed for an abortion, then plotted murder." "It seems to me that these guys hope against hope for a miscarriage or an abortion, but when everything else fails, they take the life of the woman to avoid having the baby," Jack Levin of Northeastern University told the Post.

When we mourn not just for the women, but for the babies destroyed in such terrible acts, we commit a kind of transgression against the strictest pro-choice orthodoxy. Pro-choicers have a hard time explaining why, if Bill Clinton was right that abortion should be "legal, safe and rare," the practice should be rare. One reason is that there is a continuity between the "fetus" and "baby."

Otherwise, why do we rejoice over ultrasound images of the unborn? Why do we give them names? Why do we pray for their health and happiness? Why are we so quick to go from calling them fetuses to babies?

Lie's The Left Wants Americans to Believe

While neither side is faultless of blame. The lies being fed to make thier side seem better is outrageous.

• Conservative Pro-Lifers do not care about a child after they are born.

While Conservatives do not support social welfare programs as often through the govt, they do support private funding of charity organiations more often. Including giving to churches. The Generosity Index Shows this to be true. Is it a suprise that people do not want government running charity programs? This is the same government that spends 700$ on a hammer. Who is more effective in charitable donations and actually using them to help people who need it. Government or Charitys?

Furthermore, Conservatives are more likely to have children then Liberals. The average children per family is much higher in "red" states then in "blue" states. This is not suprising when you consider that people who have children are more likely to vote conservative. The graph of white familys and number of children directly relates to the percentage of the state that voted for the republican candidate.

So, the conclusion then can be drawn by this lie liberals love to use, that parents hate thier children despite fighting for moral values for thier children's future. That security moms all hate thier children and will never fight for them. etc..

• Our nation was founded by Diest not Christians.

Even Jefferson who is by far the Diest that is most used in this arguement proclaimed himself a christian. Do I think he was a christian? Well, no. But we are not talking about one man's beliefs. We are talking about a group of men who made up the founding fathers. Each colony bringing together its own belief system. All founded on the faith of Jesus.

Benjamin Franklin's beliefs are what led to a prayer before the meeting on the constitutional convention, that has been carried over to our present day congress. Thier belief system did play a role in the forming of our government. While it may not of been the only role, it was a part of it.

The people who settled into what is now the United States were overwhemingly Christians. You can not disprove that.

No where do christians today want to put their religion above another. They just want to be treated as equals and have the same rights as those of minority religions. They do not want the Christianity part of our history erased from the books. Just as they would not want the story of the immigration of all the cultures that make up a melting pot society erased from our books either.

• Freedom of Religion and seperation of Church and State

Our Constitutional rights are granted by "blessings of liberty". Who gives us blessings? Beyond this the constitution grants us not only freedom from a govt religion, but a govt that stays out of our personal belief systems. Seperation of Church and State is no where written in our law. It referances a letter from Jefferson. Again, Jefferson was not our only founding father. While his beliefs do make up part of the basics for our system of government....they were not the only ideas that made up this same government. The only bases of our government and religion is as wrote in the constitution. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

• God would not approve of war.

There is a seperate word used for killing in war and killing as an act of murder. Jesus meets soldiers. Can you find one place, He tells them to lie down thier swords and not fight anymore? I can think of several that he calls us to serve our nation but serve our the Lord, our God as well. We are never suppoes to pray for things without working for them. God does not answer the prayers of people who do not try to help themselves. Did God just magically transport the jewish people from Egypt? No, He instead sent them a leader to lead them out. Asking God to send you a job will not work unless you are actualy out doing the work of looking for a job as well. We can not pray for God to protect our nation, and then do nothing to protect it ourselves.

• We are a Tossed Salad, Not a melting pot.

I have heard this phrase used a lot lately. This is just simply not true. It is not what our nation has been built upon. For 200 years, our society has changed socially to include the beliefs of all immigrants. Granted for a large part of that most of the people who immigrated here came from the same type of Judeo-Christian Societys. But As with Christmas, Christmas was shaped and formed into what it is today by combining the belief system of all those cultures that immigrated to our nation. Bits and parts of all cultures can be found in the way American's celebrate the Holiday. It is a true testement of the Melting Pot.

It is important that people remember where they came from, But that does not mean it is acceptable to reject the nation that you are becoming a part of. Unfortantly, Most immigrants get this while other people who have been part of this country for generations do not. Celebrating your diversity does not mean you should reject being an American.

We are not a tossed salad. We are a melting pot. The melting pot has never been about assimalting immigrants to fit the american mold. This is another lie fed by the left. The melting pot involves our society changing and emerging to include immigrants and thier beliefs. It means that our society over time embraces thier "old" to make something "new" for all of us.

We become a melting pot because we marry and come from different backgrounds. we carry with us the culture of our past and together mold it into something that becomes our future.

• Christians are trying to push thier faith down non-christians throats

How excatly is this happening? Is it shoving it in your face by offering you a pamplet? OR how excatly is it shoving it in your face when they sit together at a table and pray? Oh, I know. handing out candy canes with the history of why they were were made. yep. That is it. Giving another child a piece of candy. Maybe it is by displaying secular holiday items that have little to do with story of Christ birth. (ie christmas trees)

Offering the salvation that God offers to others by sharing the message is not pushing it down your throat. It is a gift you can either recieve or reject. That is up to you. The bible tells us to offer the word. If it is rejected to not waste your time and move on to the next person offering them the gift of God's love.

I could keep going on. But it just does not seem worth it. I know people will disagree. But I am so tired of both sides spreading lies to further thier agenda. I see it of course more from the left because I take a conservative stand on most issues. Not all, but most.

Something Most People Do Not Know About Me

There are many ways I define myself. Mother, Friend, Sister, Daughter in Law, etc.. You may wonder why I did not include Wife. My husband is my best friend and my helpmate. But we first define ourselves as friends. We were Best friends for 6 years before we started dating. You may also notice I did not include Daughter. My own mom passed away in 1995.

One of the ways I personally define myself that many people do not realize is, as a person who suffers from Chronic Pain. I have a disease called Rheumatoid Arthritis. I had childhood onset of the disease. I was 4, when I was first diagnosed.

I take medication for this condition as well. Antirheumatic Drugs are used to slow the progression and block your immune system from attacking itself. Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs (NSAIDs) are used to treat the pain of the condition. When Pain becomes out of control, a doctor will often prescribe a Glucocorticoids or Prednisone treatment.

As with most people who suffer from Auto-immune disorders, I am just lucky enough to have a 2nd auto-immune problem. When I was 19 years old I gained over 30 pounds in 1 month. I was tired and depressed. I also developed a real problem with cold limbs. My hands and feet would have extreme reactions to cold weather or even a cool breeze. It was determined that my body had found a new way to attack itself. My white cells attack itself as foreign.

I thought that was the end of it. The thyroid problem, the arthritis pain; But I was wrong. In my early 20's I had 3 late first trimester miscarriages. I have a problem with Antiphospholipid antibodies. The blood would clot at the cord during my pregnancys. To have my 3 children I had to take baby aspirian during pregnancy to thin out my blood.

Even when born all 3 of my children weighed under 7 and 1/2 pounds despite being born between 38-39 weeks. 7 lbs 5 oz, 6 lbs 7 oz and 6 lbs 3 oz. After extremly difficult pregnancys.

Everyday I face problems that others think little about. My body is often covered in huge black and blue marks. I bruise very easy. Iron does not help fight the anemia. I take medication everyday and will for the rest of my life. I am not always able to do the things other moms do. Often, I fall or drop things. I worry a lot about dieing and what life for my children will be like.

This is something I know about personally. My mom died when I was 22 from complications from her Lupus. She got an infection that she could not get rid of. She ended up having a stroke followed by a clot of blood getting stuck in a heart value and her dieing. Auto-immune diseases are herditary. I worry about my children and thier future.

Autoimmune disorders include the following:

• Systemic lupus erythematosus. A general autoimmune disease in which antibodies attack a number of different tissues. The disease recurs periodically and is seen mainly in young and middle-aged women.
• Rheumatoid arthritis. Occurs when the immune system attacks and destroys the tissues that line bone joints and cartilage. The disease occurs throughout the body, although some joints may be more affected than others.
• Goodpasture's syndrome. Occurs when antibodies are deposited in the membranes of both the lung and kidneys, causing both inflammation of kidney glomerulus (glomerulonephritis) and lung bleeding. It is typically a disease of young males.
• Grave's disease. Caused by an antibody that binds to specific cells in the thyroid gland, causing them to make excessive amounts of thyroid hormone.
• Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Caused by an antibody that binds to cells in the thyroid gland. Unlike in Grave's disease, however, this antibody's action results in less thyroid hormone being made.
• Pemphigus vulgaris. A group of autoimmune disorders that affect the skin.
• Myasthenia gravis. A condition in which the immune system attacks a receptor on the surface of muscle cells, preventing the muscle from receiving nerve impulses and resulting in severe muscle weakness.
• Scleroderma. Also called CREST syndrome or progressive systemic sclerosis, scleroderma affects the connective tissue.
• Autoimmune hemolytic anemia. Occurs when the body produces antibodies that coat red blood cells.
• Autoimmune thrombocytopenic purpura. Disorder in which the immune system targets and destroys blood platelets.
• Polymyositis and Dermatomyositis. Immune disorders that affect the neuromuscular system.
• Pernicious anemia. Disorder in which the immune system attacks the lining of the stomach in such a way that the body cannot metabolize vitamin B₁₂.
• Sjögren's syndrome. Occurs when the exocrine glands are attacked by the immune system, resulting in excessive dryness.
• Ankylosing spondylitis. Immune-system induced degeneration of the joints and soft tissue of the spine.
• Vasculitis. A group of autoimmune disorders in which the immune system attacks and destroys blood vessels.
• Type I diabetes mellitus. May be caused by an antibody that attacks and destroys the islet cells of the pancreas, which produce insulin

This is an interesting article I wanted to share.

Autoimmune Disorders Among Top 10 Killers of Women

Autoimmune disorders such as multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and type 1 diabetes are among the leading causes of death among American women under age 65, according to a new study. However, the significance of autoimmune diseases in mortality rates has gone unrecognized since they are not classified in the same way as other conditions such as heart disease or cancer. Many autoimmune disorders are not in the list, prepared by the National Center for Health Statistics, that physicians use when recording cause of death. Researchers examined national mortality data for 1995 from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), looking for mention of 24 different autoimmune disorders, and found that, when grouped together, these disorders accounted for a very large portion of the deaths, putting it among the top 10 causes of death. Another reason that these diseases do not show up as a cause of death is that many doctors do not list chronic health conditions as the direct cause of death when completing death certificates. Previous research has found that about 5% of American women have an autoimmune disorder. American Journal of Public Health September, 2000;90:1463-1466 Dr. Mercola's Comment: I did not realize that automimmune disease was one of the top ten killers of women. Sounds scary doesn't it? What is even scarier is that doctors are the number three killer of women, and this is just the documented evidence. My guess is that overall, they are number one for the negligence of not informing their patients of the practical, natural, and well-documented options to chronic disease. The most important is diet, and this also happens to be one of the most important interventions for autoimmune disease. Other issues that are frequent problems are early emotional stresses, heavy metals and secondary viral infections from the previously mentioned factors. In addition, there has been a lot of attention lately paid to the so-called "hygeine hypothesis". This basically is the theory that by living is a "sterile" environment and not being exposed to germs, especially during early childhood, the immune system is not properly "trained" and, lacking any real "invaders" to attack, may begin to develop improper immune responses to non-pathogenic substances and may even attack the body's own cells. Additionally, Dr. Bart Classen, of Classen Immunotherapies, has found that vaccines can contribute to autoimmune disease, particularly type-1 diabetes.

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Sleep and More

Safe In Daddy's Arms


Hush Little Babies...


Precious In Pink


Howdy Partner


Grandma Introduces a Sister

The Story of Christmas

Jesus' Birth Foretold

Luke 1: 26 And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, 27 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. 28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. 29 And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. 30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. 31 And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. 32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: 33 And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. 34 Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? 35 And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. 36 And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. 37 For with God nothing shall be impossible. 38 And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.

The Birth of Jesus Christ

Matthew 1: 18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. 19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. 20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. 21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. 22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, 23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. 24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: 25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

The Birth of Jesus

Luke 2: And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. 2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) 3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. 4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) 5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. 6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

Luke 2: 8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. 16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. 17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. 18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. 20 And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

Why Abortion Is Murder

In celebrations of my Sons' birth, I want to show you just why abortion is wrong... These are not of my son but a collection of ultrasound pictures of various babies. Age of an infant is measured from last period. NOT from conception.

6 weeks of age or 4 weeks after conception -- you have barely noticed a missed period.


8 weeks of age or 6 weeks after conception -- notice the little tiny bud arms and legs?


10 weeks of age or 8 weeks after conception -- this is a 3D ultrasound picture. Very Clear huh?


11 weeks of age or 9 weeks after conception -- Baby Sucking his thumb.


13 weeks of age or 11 weeks after conception-- Profile picture...still within the first trimester


18 weeks of age or 16 weeks after conception. a yawning infant.

Political Climate of Religion

The past few months I have read several comments on religion in America. The cases of discrimination against Christians are becoming very public. Today, I have read of two such cases. But before I share that with you, I want to share what I believe.

I live my life by the following. It is called the Apostles Creed. I am United Methodist. I was raised in that very faith.

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come again to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. AMEN.

Since, the election I have read of case after case being brought on discrimination against christians in america. Several weeks ago our sermon was on the biblical text "and the meek shall inherit the earth." That does not mean we should never get mad about sin being committed. Even Jesus got mad and drove the money changers out of the temples. We need to get mad when we see violations of God's word and ways. We need to stand up for our faith.

Holiday Tree Removed From Federal Courthouse

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- A Christmas tree that decorated the lobby in new federal courthouse downtown has been removed.

Late last week the Government Services Administration, the agency that maintains the building, acted on direction from the Chief Judge to pull the tree. A lighted snowman, reindeer and sleigh has replaced the tree.

A spokesperson for the GSA could not give specifics on why the tree was taken down. Gary Mote who handles Public Affairs from the Southeast Sunbelt Region says the decision was to "...make sure no one is offended."

Schools prohibit Christmas colors --
District targeted with lawsuit after officials require white-only supplies for 'winter' party

First it was schools that banned the singing of Christmas carols.

Then another banned carols played only by instruments with no lyrics being presented.

Now a school district has banned the colors red and green from a "Winter Break Party," requiring parents to bring only white plates and napkins.

In response to the party policy, as well as many other rules a group of parents and students believe to be rank censorship, a lawsuit has been filed against the Plano Independent School District in Texas to fight back against its "religious hostility," as one attorney puts it.


Other policies cited in the suit, filed today in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Texas, Sherman Division, include a ban on candy cane distribution when a religious card is attached, a ban on parents giving religious-oriented items to one another on school property and a ban on criticizing school board members or administrators on campus.

School's Carol Rule for the Grinch?

MAPLEWOOD, N.J. — There won't be any herald angels singing or little drummer boys drumming at schools in Maplewood this holiday season.

Last year, when students in the chorus sang Christmas songs at holiday concerts, a few people complained that lyrics about the baby Jesus or angels made non-Christians feel left out. So, the music director for the New Jersey district issued an edict that all songs representing any religion were to be avoided.

But at a school board meeting this month, many parents argued the ruling is more Grinch than goodwill. Those that read the actual school policy say it's being misinterpreted since the policy permits "the inclusion of religious literature, music, drama, (etc.) provided ... it neither inhibits nor advances any religious point of view."

And From Thanksgiving....

Students Free to Thank Anybody, Except God

ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Maryland public school students are free to thank anyone they want while learning about the 17th century celebration of Thanksgiving — as long as it's not God.

And that is how it should be, administrators say.

Young students across the state read stories about the Pilgrims and Native Americans, simulate Mayflower voyages, hold mock feasts and learn about the famous meal that temporarily allied two very different groups.

But what teachers don't mention when they describe the feast is that the Pilgrims not only thanked the Native Americans for their peaceful three-day indulgence, but repeatedly thanked God.

The Death Sentence for Scott Peterson

Scott Peterson's verdict came in yesterday afternoon. Death. I wanted to post on this last night but I just felt beat down. I was already sick but hearing this news just disappointed me.

I expect the best from people and I get let down a lot. I thought our society had evolved past that eye for an eye mentality. Yes, What this man did was beyond repulsive. And I understand that the family and those who loved Laci and Conner feel they have now gotten justice for this. But the problem is not with this case, it is with the death penalty sentence as a whole.

The death penalty does not work as a deterrent. And While some criminals are beyond reform, it is never our place as mere humans to decide when a life should be taken. Only God, can make that choice.

I recently watched a debate on Euthanasia on several different political debate boards. I myself did not take part in them. It amazes me that those same people who are for letting a chornically ill person take thier life are against the death sentenses. It just does not make sense to me. They often too feel that abortion is ok.

I disagree and this is the reason I am an indepedent. It is NEVER ok to take a life. Not for a person to kill themself because they have a chornic illness, Not in an abortion to kill a child who has no say if they live or die, and NOT in the case of a murder. It is never ok for we as humans to decide when death should happen. That is God's work. Not our work.

So, you are wondering, do I think he did it? Yes, I do.

I know there are some people who can never fit normally in our society. I accept that. But killing the criminal will not bring back the lives he took. Nothing will bring those people back.

In our society domestic violance is an epidemic. We have spouses killing thier familys. Do all these cases get as much attention as this case? No. What happens to those with less attention? Are they followed in as much detail and make sure everything as as accurate as this case was? We need to do more to stop domestic violance, then killing the criminals who commit these crimes.

Too Tired

I am exhausted. Last night, My husband had to cover the 3rd shift. So, he got no sleep at all between 6 am yesterday morning and 9 this morning. The one day a year I am extremly busy, he had to cover a shift the night before. His mother watched the kids for us thank goodness. I had a choir practice for my concert tomorrow. The kids had one this afternoon. Well, the big two did. So, I didnt have anyone to watch the little one.

I stayed up 1/2 the night worrying about how I was going to manage today. I did, But now after basically singing for 5 hours today, serving 15 kids muffins and juice, creating a christmas card for the kids out of thier handprints, and baking cookies....I am just plain tired.

One of the songs we are singing tomorrow has this line in it. It is the reason for all the work....

Soon he will come,
Bethlehams boy.
Bringing salvation
peace, love, and joy.

The Black and White Vs the Gray Areas of Political Issues

This is my take on the differances between Liberals and Conservatives. Often times, I hear liberals say that conservatives see things as too black and white. I think they are right. Conservatives do see things as black and white. But I also do not think that is a bad thing. I took a "quiz" online. It gave you a rating of either extreme liberal, liberal, center-liberal, center-conservative, conservative, and extreme conservative. I was not suprised. I fell into the center-conservative catagory. I do tend to see things as black vs white. Adding in the gray areas' only complicates simple issues.

I would say that conservatives are more realistic about what is happening, even though liberals will claim to be more realistic because they are seeing all the "outside influences." But I think that is part of the "trying to complicate the issue too."

Many of these issues really do come down to right vs wrong. It is like changing anti-life to pro-choice. by stopping to define abortion as an issue of life vs death...it becomes simple. But when you are adding in the outside factors....a women's right to choose...and yes i am a women... then you do not change the fact that this is a choice of life vs death. You are just adding in more complications to the issue. That then becomes the gray area...because then who has more rights? an unborn childs right to live or a womens right to choose not to be a mother? But regardless of the choice of a mother....you are still talking about a child's life. period. there is no gray area there. If you choose abortion you are choosing to END alife. There is no gray about that. Only black and white. One minute you are alive...the next you are dead.

on the christian discrimination issue, i have been told its not discrimination if it happens to the majority. Discrimination is discrimination regardless of who it happens to. But by adding that christians are the majority in america, you are then adding a gray area that just should not be there. This issue should be black and white. It is either against one group or no group. you can not redefine the defintion when it is being used in connection to a majority. A person goes into a building of predominantly another race. he is denied the right to rent the place. That is housing discrimination. It should not matter if the man seeking to rent was a white male in a predominantly black building. Again. this issue does not have gray areas.

America At War With Its Self

I frequent many political forums and this is the conclusion I have come up with. America is at war with herself. Democrats against republicans. I have read several interesting articles since the election. Many come to the same conclusion. Our country is divided.

The sad thing is that neither side can seem to grasp the other side. We are not talking about hard understanding here, we are talking about simple listening and repeating back what was just said.

There are radicals on both sides and neither side really speaks for America. America's middle is where the truth of what is going on in our country stands. But nobody really represents the middle.

I like President Bush. I know. Gasp. The Horror. I respect him for what he has accomplished. I read an article yesterday about a man filing charges In PA because the man in the next booth in a public market had a picture of President Bush. The first man wants a law passed forbidding the picture of the sitting president to be used in public places. He says that it is offensive to him because, he voted for Kerry. Does he even grasp what he is asking here? This is a federal building from what the article said. If we outlaw the use of current pictures of the President in PUBLIC and GOVT buildings, What about schools? Should we stop teaching students who the current president is as well? Should we just not teach them politics? Come on. This is going too far.

Christianity is under attack in America. And Christians are not lieing down and taking it anymore. The Declaration of Indepedence can not be read in a public school because it uses the word God. The WW2 war memorial alters a speech to remove the words God. A students elementry school play claims to "cover all the religions" while leaving out Christianity. All these are cases in the last month that made the news.

When the I mentioned to several liberal people pre-election that Christians are standing up and refusing to be discriminated against...they laughed. They told me I was parinoid. I told them that Christians were not going to take it anymore. They replied with that it is not discrimination if it is happening to the majority.

November 3rd, these same liberals were walking around saying, "What went wrong? How did this happen?" It was followed by forwarded emails with pictures of Jesusland and costal states being part of Canada. Soon after that, much hate speech was being used against those 'moral' voters who for the most part were Christians. This of course stemed from the Marriage Protection Amendment passed in 11 out of 11 states. But the problem with blaming Christians and blaming Republicans is this....It passed in 2 states that went to Kerry. And Even Kerry himself did NOT support Homosexual Marraige. He and Bush actually had the same stand on this issue and that stand was ok with civil unions and not ok for Marriage.

Was Kerry just the wrong person? I think that Kerry took a lot of heat about his role in vietnam. America as a whole would like to sweep that time under a rug and forget it happened. My uncle was a war desserter. As such, his kids barely knew him when they were small. The FBI used to follow my mom home from school when she was in high school. They would stop her and question her on my uncles wearabouts. I know my family wishes and pretends that time never happened. Kerry's mistake was not what he did or did not do during Vietnam or even what he did after he came back. His mistake was running on his vietnam record. It left him open to attacks by groups like the swifties. It also then brought his role after vietnam into play during the election.

Bush and prayer. Ok. I have to admit, this is one of the things that bothers me the most when critized. Bush is not trying to convert people. He often prays at appropriate times. He is not out there converting the nation. Yet, he is under constant attack for this. He is not the first president to pray. Geez. Do Liberals know what they are doing when they critize the man for praying? They are building an army against themselves. Because, as mentioned above, Christians are not going to lie down and play dead anymore.

Do I think the nation is just in a swing and will eventually swing back to the democrats? Honestly, It will depend a lot on what the democrat party does over the next few years. I think there is a real chance we could be seeing a party dieing out and a 3rd party moving up to take the role of the 2nd major party in the nation. It will depend on what both the Libertarian party and the democrat party do over the next few elections.

I have met a lot of people like me who have left the democrat party recently. This is the first election ever I have voted for a republican. I worked on Mondale and Clinton's campaign. I voted for Gore in 2000. And this election, I voted for the president. I feel like the democrat party has left people like me behind. They Have left the center and are too far to the left now. I actually met a ton of people this election who feel the same way I do. Most support the war because they were in someway affected on 9/11.

The democrat party wants to pretend that the President acted alone on going to war in Iraq. No President can take us to war without Congress approval. Democrats and Republicans voted for the war based on the information known at the time.

Since then every time WMD have been found. And yes, there have been chemical and biological weapons found...they are discarded for one reason or another. Well, there were no launchers here. Well, there were not enough to kill mass amounts of people just a few thousand. Well, we were not talking about excatly this compound. But WMD play such a little role in why we need to be in Iraq.

Saddam was an evil man. He killed his own people. He used chemical and biological weapons against his own people. The people who do not support the war would have you believe that nothing good has happened in Iraq. That it is all about wild soldiers killing for support. Of course, they have the right to say those things because of freedom of speech. Freedom of speech protected by the same soldiers they are critizing. Amazing how hypocritical that all is.

I could go on. The racism issue we are seeing too against any minority that supports conservatives. The people with kids vs those with out and how and why they vote. etc... So, for my little rant I will leave you with an article that appeared a few days ago in the opinion journal. This is just the first few paragraphs. click on the link for the whole article. It is long but well worth the read.

AFTER THE WAR

The Frustrated Archbishop
A roundup of the past two weeks' good news from Iraq.

BY ARTHUR CHRENKOFF
Monday, December 6, 2004 12:01 a.m. EST

It takes a lot to get a man of God annoyed, and Louis Sako, the Chaldean Archbishop of Kirkuk, is a very frustrated man these days. "It is not all death and destruction," says the archbishop. "Much is positive in Iraq today. . . . Universities are operating, schools are open, people go out onto the streets normally. . . . Where there's a kidnapping or a homicide the news gets out immediately, and this causes fear among the people. . . . Those who commit such violence are resisting against Iraqis who want to build their country."

It's not just the terrorists who, according to His Eminence, are creating problems for Iraq: Elections in January "will be a starting point for a new Iraq," he says. Yet "Western newspapers and broadcasters are simply peddling propaganda and misinformation. . . . Iraqis are happy to be having elections and are looking forward to them because they will be useful for national unity. . . . Perhaps not everything will go exactly to plan, but, with time, things will improve. Finally Iraqis will be given the chance to choose. Why is there so much noise and debate coming out from the West when before, under Saddam, there were no free elections, but no one said a thing?"

The archbishop has this wish for the international bystanders: "Europe is absent, it's not out there; the United States is on its own. . . . [Europe] must help the Iraqi government to control its borders to prevent the entry of foreign terrorists, [but] also provide economic help to encourage a new form of culture which is open to coexistence, the acceptance of others, respect for the human person and for other cultures. . . . Europe must understand that there is no time to waste on marginal or selfish interests: The entire world needs peace."

Archbishop Sako's frustration is increasingly shared by other Iraqis, who can hardly recognize their country from the foreign media coverage. Westerners, too, both military and civilians, upon their return are often finding to their surprise and concern they had lived and worked in a different country to that their loved ones, friends and neighbors back home saw every night on the news. "Our" Iraq is a place of violence, uncertainty, and frustration; "their" Iraq all that, but also so much more: work and renewal, hope and enthusiasm, new opportunities and new possibilities. Here are the last two weeks' worth of stories you might have missed while watching "our" Iraq on the news:

The Wrapping of the Presents

Tonight, I spent 4 hours wrapping presents. Only 1 hour of that was actually for my children. Not even 1/2 of thier presents are wrapped yet. Some of it was wrapping my sons birthday presents. He is getting a new remote control truck, 2 sweaters, a pair of jeans, 2 playstation2 racing games and spiderman 2. We need to buy one more toy but not sure what yet. All that I have is wrapped however.

A big part of it was the wrapping of presents for nieces, newphews, sisters and thier husbands. I have one full sister and 2 half sisters. And my husband has 1 sister. His sister has 3 children all the same age as our children just about. And my full sister has 1 son. 2 complete rolls of paper just for them. We have not gotten a gift yet for Brian's Parents. And I need to wash the pillow cases I cross-stitched for my dad and stepmom. I also want to get them something that says 'southwest' on it. Plus I have pictures to send them for christmas of the kids.

We have most of the little gifts taken care of for all those people in our lives you have to give gifts too. Ornaments for the children in my sunday school class, my fellow teacher, my youngest sunday school teacher. Also, an ornament for our preacher and his wife. There is also a few special people who I want to give small gifts for. I want to do a secret 12 days of christmas santa for a special guest we have at the hotel. He is a long term stay. I need to pick up little gifts for that.

For the most part my children's toys are bought for christmas. They are still in layaway. I have to pick them up next week when I pick up our christmas pictures. The cards have yet to be addressed, but that too will be done by the weekends end. But then there is the additional wrapping of the toys. I have already used 3.5 rolls of wrapping paper. Before the wrapping is over we are looking atleast at 8 rolls. I have not even bought ribbon let alone applied it to the presents that are wrapped already. One more job to do before the 25th.

And yet, Why do I go through so much trouble for one holiday? Because on the 25th we will be having a grand birthday party for Jesus. Yes, I know. Jesus birthday is not dec 25th. But that is the day that we as Christians celebrate it. What greater day can there be then the day that celebrates the birth of our savior??

I sing in my church choir and one of the songs we are singing this year, talks about how we celebrate the birth of Christ. And we see him tiny and small and laying in a manager. But that same infant will grow and perform miracles and eventually bare the nailprints of our salvations. Everytime we sing it, I picture the hands of my children on that first day of life with nailprints. It breaks my heart.

I remember sitting in a showing of "Passion of the Christ." Over and over praying to God, "I do not deserve this Lord. Why sacrifice your son for me a sinner? " And yet, as we remember the birth we must also remember the salvation. They go together.

The banners in our sanctuary read "Expect the Light." Oh what a joy that light is. We give gifts at the holidays to remember the ultimate gift that God gave for us. A savior, a king, a redeemer...in the form of a child. The Son of God.

JOHN 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

JOHN 15:9 As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.

Luke 2:7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Matthew 1:23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel" --which means, "God with us."

Another terrorist attack against America

When will it end? Why is this not being shouted from the rooftops and people mad as hell? Get Angry already America!!!

Attackers Strike U.S. Consulate in Jiddah
Email this Story

Dec 6, 8:11 AM (ET)

By FAIZA SALEH AMBAH

JIDDAH, Saudi Arabia (AP) - Islamic militants threw explosives at the gate of the heavily guarded U.S. consulate in Jiddah, then forced their way into the building, prompting a gunbattle in a bold assault that left seven people dead and several injured before the three-hour long crisis was brought under control.

Several Americans were slightly injured, according to a State Department official in Washington.

Three attackers were among those killed, while two others were injured and arrested, the Saudi Interior Ministry announced. Saudi security officials also said four of their forces were killed. The ministry statement didn't mention hostages, though Saudi security officials said some had been taken.

In Riyadh, U.S. Embassy spokeswoman Carol Kalin said two local staff members were injured, but all American staff were safe.

"We have accounted for all Americans on the compound in Jiddah and none of them are being held hostage," Kalin said. "We have a local work force that was on duty and we are still in the process of accounting for (them)."

Kalin said it was unclear if any of the U.S. Marine guards inside the consulate were involved in the gunbattle.

As a precaution, she said, the U.S. Embassy in Riyadh and consulate in Dhahran were closed to the public.

The attackers apparently made their way past Saudi security personnel into the interior of the diplomatic compound, the State Department official said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

"All the Americans at the consulate were able to reach secure locations" at the compound, he said, describing the injuries to the Americans as minor.

Saudi security forces, including snipers, could be seen on the rooftops of buildings around the consulate compound. Thick smoke rose from the compound and helicopters hovered overhead.

The statement by a Saudi Interior Ministry spokesman, carried by the official Saudi Press Agency, said a "stray bunch" - a reference to Islamic militants - threw explosives at the gate of the consulate, then entered. Saudi security forces engaged the attackers, "killing three aggressors, and two were captured after they were hit," the statement said.

"The situation was brought under control," the statement said. It gave no further details.

The White House closely monitored the situation in Jiddah as President Bush prepared to meet with two Middle East leaders - Ghazi al-Yawer, the interim president of Iraq, and Jordan's King Abdullah II.

A senior Saudi official in Washington, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said the attackers took several hostages, mostly Sudanese and Indian, but the Americans were evacuated.

During the hostage standoff, the official said, there were some negotiations, but Saudi security forces stormed the attackers when threats were made. There was a brief firefight that ended with the three being killed and two captured, the Saudi official said.

Security forces freed the hostages, the official said.

Area residents spoke of seeing Saudi forces enter the consulate shortly before a fierce gunbattle was heard inside. A short time later, the gunfire stopped.

Saudi security officials said two security guards at the gate of consulate were wounded, one of them seriously, after the attackers opened fire on them before entering the mission.

A Saudi health official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said several people were injured and taken to a hospital.

Witnesses initially said they saw the attackers' car explode outside the consulate, located in the city's heart near the Red Sea coast, but it was not immediately clear if a car bomb had been used or if the attackers had thrown explosives after driving the car up to the consulate.

Saudi security officials said the assailants shot at security guards at the consulate's gate, set off an explosion - using either a car bomb or grenades - and got into the compound. There, they said Saudi security guards engaged the attackers, but the attackers managed to seize hostages.

There was no immediate claim of responsibility. But Saudi officials have blamed al-Qaida operatives for the string of attacks that have hit the kingdom in the past two years.

On Islamic militant Web sites, contributors began hailing the attack even before it was over, with one person praising it as "destruction of a bastion of atheism."

"We were afraid about our brothers in the Arab peninsula, but this proves that they are well and sound, thank God," said the person who made the posting, referring to recent Saudi crackdowns on militants.

Al-Arabiya satellite television reported the attackers were believed to be carrying machine guns and hand grenades that were thought to have started a fire inside the compound. The fire was extinguished by helicopter, the report said.

"The magnitude of this assault on the consulate has taken all Jiddah residents by surprise," said Khaled al-Maeena, the editor of Arab News located in Jiddah who saw the smoke rising from the compound.

The building - like all U.S. diplomatic buildings and other Western compounds in Saudi Arabia - has been heavily fortified and guarded since last year's series of bombings against targets housing foreigners.

The series of attacks started in 2003, when car bombs targeted three compounds housing foreign workers in Riyadh, killing 35 people, including nine suicide bombers. Later that year, a suicide car bomb killed 17 people and wounded 122 at a compound for foreign workers in Riyadh.

Last May, 22 people were killed, including 19 foreigners, by militants who took over a resort complex in Khobar and held hostages for 25 hours. In another attack that month, militants stormed offices of Houston-based ABB Lummus Global Inc. in Yanbu, killing six Westerners and a Saudi. All four attackers in Yanbu died in a shootout after an hour-long police chase in which they dragged the body of an American from the bumper of their car.

In June, militants in Riyadh, the capital, kidnapped and beheaded Paul M. Johnson Jr., an engineer for a U.S. defense company.

5 Years In Pictures

My Son's 5th Birthday

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of life.
- Maureen Hawkins


My son's birthday is coming up at the end of next week. He was very much wanted. I had 3 late first trimester miscarriages before I got pregnant with him. And although I saw thier hearts beat, my babies died at 11.5 weeks and 13 weeks into my pregnancy.

It was not an easy pregnancy. In October of that year, my grandmother died. Because I was living 2,000 miles away from home and I was high risk, I was unable to go home for the funeral. I have an auto-immune disorder and my pregnancy was more difficult because of it. I took baby aspirian to thin out my blood. Shortly after my grandmothers death I was put on bedrest because I was having contractions.

My due date was Christmas Eve. To me, that was a sign from God that my son would be ok. Jake was a christmas gift to me from God. I believe that with all my heart.

I was having contractions but they were not close. The doctor felt that after 3 weeks of the contractions going strong and giving out, it was time to help them a long. My husband and I were to be at the hospital at 1 and I was to have had lunch first. We went to What-a-burger across the street from the hospital for lunch. Then we went in and they started the pitocin.

At about 6, The women in the room next to me was birthing her baby. I heard her scream "Get this baby out of me, " and decided it was time for the epidural. The contractions were getting stronger and I was ready for a little pain relief. Also, at that time "Its an Incredible life" came on TV.

We watched the movie as I worked through the last few hours of the contractions. At about 7:30 they checked me and gave me the epidural. I was only at 6. At 8, the movie ended. I announced to my husband it was time to go get the nurse because it was time to push. The nurse came in and said , "now , honey we just checked you." And when she checked she said, "Do NOT push. I have to call the doctor now. Do not push until I get back." My doctor walked into my room 5 mins later putting on his gloves.

He said, " I can see his head and its time to push." As I started the first push I was told to stop pushing. The cord was wrapped around my little babys neck. They untangled the cord and Jake slid the rest of the way out on his own. He was born Sunny side up. Its commen for the cord to become tangled around thier neck when they are born this way. Instead of coming into the world facing the floor, he was facing the cieling. He wanted to see everything going on.

He nursed with in the first 15 mins of life. With in the first hour he had peed on two nurses, nursed for over 30 mins and been held by his grandmother, his great-grandmother, myself and most importantly the man who matters the most in his life...His dad.

I will never forget the look on my husbands face. It was so mixed with love, and fear, and responsbility. From that moment, he was a changed person. He found more stress in his life, but also more joy. Jake still amazes him because Brian see's only good in him. Brian thinks Jake is amazing. I agree with him.

Life with Jake has not been easy. By the time he was 8 months old he was walking. And although he did all the milestones early....he slept little. He wanted held constantly, but you could not crowd his space. While other babies love the "white noise," It caused near meltdowns for Jake. Simple things like the Vaccuum were impossible. And as long as you held him and moved constantly, he was ok. But lay him down and life was not so grand.

Our lives got easier as he got older. Not because he changed, but because we changed. We got some sleep by bringing him into our bed to sleep with us. He nursed until he was 16 months old and was a very greedy nurser. He wanted held a lot, so the front pack became part of my everyday clothes. By adjusting my life to him, we found harmony.

When he became a brother at 17 months old, he was in love. With the great sensitivity to everything, comes great compassion in our little man. I do not have one picture of Brianna as a baby that Jake is not in her face kissing her. He was never jealous, but his problem was he loved her too much. That compassion has only grown as he has become older. He worrys about other people and how they will feel. He loves to give and loves to care for. He would give away his toy if it would make someone else happy. I love that side of my son.

Jake's heart is easily broken. In that way, he is much like me. My mom used to tell me..."you wear your heart on your sleeve like a badge for the world to see. But when you put it out there where people can touch it, its bound to get broken." That too is my Jake. I now know how hard it was for my mom to watch me walk through the world like that. It terrifys me to watch my son do the same thing.

Jake is an artist in the making. Not only is he sensitive and caring, but he has to have creative outlets for his emotions and his energy. He amazes me with the pictures he draws and the items he paints.

Our life is not easy with Jake being Jake, But I would not change it for anything. He does not function well in lots of activity. But he has such an "old soul." I believe that God sent Jake to us, to teach us. I know I learn more from him, then I will ever be able to teach him.

Jake has SI Dysfunction. He is hyper sensitive to stimuli. Expecially noises and touch. Lights and activity also to a lesser degree. My son has never been one to have his space invaded. He has a little wall around himself and you can not "invade" that space. But yet he is the most loving person I have ever met. His love is not shown always in hugs and kisses, but it is in the actions he takes. Helping his great-grandmother walk by leading her by the hand and clearing even the smallest stone from her path.

Next year my son will go to school. I have to tell you, I am terrified. I know I will always have to be his advocate. He is so scared of everything. Its hard to function in a world when you do not even like people to touch you. I pray everyday I have given him the skills he needs to go into the world on his own and stand strong. That is the greatest gift I can give him besides my love. The ability to function in this world without me there beside him.

My hopes for my son are that he will grow up to be happy. That every dream he strives for in his life will be possible if he works hard enough. That he will always know love and be able to give it in return. And most importantly, That he will always know that God is with him and loves him.

To Jake, On his almost 5th birthday. I love you with all my heart. My angel, My christms gift from God.

Hard Anniversarys

Written 12/4 but not published until 12/19

This blog came about as a response to my own need to deal with a hard anniversary. A week ago yesterday was 11 years since I was raped. That part of my life was hard. The deep depression I sank into. It took a long time to climb out of that hole. Instead of being the mule stepping up on the dirt thrown into the hole, I was letting it bury me alive.

I was raped by someone I knew. Not only someone I knew....But someone I dated. Rob was different then the other guys I dated. For the most part I dated two types of men. Geeks like me or Military types. Sometimes a good combo of the two. Rob was not either of those. He was different. He enjoyed things that were different from the norm of most people I knew.

He had a stepfather who hated him and a mother who sided with his stepfather. When he got kicked out of college for being online all day, he moved home to thier house. My mom said he could come "live with them" until he found a job and a place to live. He never looked for a job after he got there. And although things were starting to bother me, it was not until I was home the weekend before thanksgiving that it came to a breaking point. I was standing in my moms kitchen doing dishes and he came up behind me. He took my arm and shoved it up behind my back and told me if I ever cheated on him, he would kill me. That was the wacko factor. I went back to college that same day and made the decision this guy had to get out of my life.

By the time I returned back home on wednesday before thanksgiving, I had decided to break up with him. I was also extremly sick. At the time I thought I just had a bad case of broncititis. It turned out to be Pneumonia. I had no voice, was running high fevers, etc. I broke up with him that night and basically went to sleep and slept for 2 days. On friday night I woke up and he was on top of me. I could not scream because I had no voice and I was scared. This is the same man who less then a week ago had threathened to kill me. I kept trying to say no and I was crying and he kept saying "This will make you love me again." That was the Ironic part of it all. He honestly believed that by forcing me against my will to have sex with him, That I would love him again.

Everything after that seems like a blur except.... I do remember one fact he "shared" with me during this "event". The ex-fiance that was killed? She ran out in front of a car, while he was chasing her. They had a fight, she was scared of him and took off. Ran right in front of a car and died before the ambulance ever got there.

The next time I woke up it was the next day. I could not tell my mom or my sister. It was like a horrible mistake, I had made bringing this person into our lives in the first place. The guilt was overwhelming. I remember waking up the next night and he was there again. But this time, I pretended to be asleep. He was not on top of me just...touching me while he took care of himself. Just saying that I feel like I need a shower. But I thought if I pretended to be asleep, he would finish what he was doing and just leave me alone. I got up after he went to sleep. As soon as the sun came up I had my mom take me back to school...she had worked the night before and was coming home right then.

I do not think I slept again for 3 months. March 3rd...I had just not slept in so long. I was so scared to go to sleep. That was the day I took a hand full of pills to make the pain stop. Eventually, it did make the pain stop, but only because it forced me to get help. I look back now on that time in my life and its like watching a movie of it happening to someone else. When I took those pills....I refused treatment. Brian was on one line saying "... get your butt to the hospital now." And Mike on the other saying "Its ok, you dont have to go. Just talk to me." and then eventualy Mike said "Ok. Its time to go to the hospital now." I went. I drank the black stuff. Did my time. Got out and got on with my life.

This is a poem I wrote back then. Honestly, It is probably one of my best ever. But I just cant remember feeling that bad now. It is like a whole other life. One I am not part of. Or maybe one that I do not let be part of my life as it is now. God's great irony. Brian and I's Youngest Child was born 9 years to the day I overdosed. I believe it was a message for me that life goes on.

explaining in confusion the beast

where to search, i wonder why
hurting so bad, dreaming to die
I hide the beast, store away
push him down for another day
show a smile, hurt to hide
no one to share with, to confide
understanding beyond the being
look at me, without even seeing
i cry, i smile, but its not me
discovering the depth is the key
no one to look, to understand
i search across the haunted land
everyone is, whatever they are
in mind, close or very far
the hurt i feel and tears i cry
the smiles of pain, telling a lie
i open my heart, show the pain
all the trying, i do in vain
the bullets i feel, rock my skin
hurt so thick, and being so thin
where is my opening, my place
not my heart but show the face
hide the beast, walking away
sharing feelings does not pay
always trying to give a hand
here is time, passing of sand
reaching out to help a friend
nearer and nearer, looking for end.
try to take, death to ponder
my heart is lost, always wander
hiding the fear, show the lie
close my eyes, reach for the sky.
touch the clouds, put on aa smile
yet, feel the hurt, all the while.
here comes the beast, run and see
its the pain, not really me.
walk away, i wont give you fear
walk away, do not stay too near,
i only hurt and ruin lives
nothing inside is a prize.
only hurt and very strange
my life to fix, to arrange.
so take hold myself, reach out
oh my god, here comes the pout.
run hurry, run, run away
the beast is here, to reign, to stay
he growls, he hurts, he raptures me.
its not me anymore, im dead you see.
no more, no nothing, nothing to feel
im numb, im gone, nothing for a deal
nothing to give, but hurt and pain.
hide the depression, make me sane.
s.l.thomas

My Favorite Subjects

Study of Shadows


Dreamer Girl


The Team Takes the Field


Precious In Pink


Silver and Gold


Sharing a Discovery

The Holidays

We are just 3 weeks away from the Christmas Holiday. Already in the season of "hope." What does the christmas holiday symbolize in our society today?

Yesterday I drove 2 hours to spend 3 hours shopping in the mall and another hour in target, stopping at a dollar store before spending another 2 hours in the car on the way home. Just in hopes of finding the perfect presents for those people I love. We live in a small town and finding the perfect gift is not always easy locally. If at all possible though I shop locally. Hence, why in all that time, I spent only 80$ of the close to 700$ we will spend this christmas on presents for our children, our sisters and thier familys, and our parents and our grandparents.

We are a Christian family. To us personally, Christmas is so much more. It is the celebration of Christ birth. The question becomes how do we celebrate the season of hope by showing love to our fellow man.

Our church recently helped with a Christmas project for Children. But I saw the neatest thing yesterday in my shopping. An "angel tree" with names of senior citizens on it! What a great idea. There are a lot of christmas organizations out there that do gifts for childrens. And I strongly believe in giving to those organizations. Toys for Tots, Project Christmas, etc. But I also know so many lonenly Senior Citizens. What a wonderful gift to give to one of these people. I do not know who came up with this idea, but it truely touched me.

So many of our senior citizens spend the holidays alone. Familys living so far apart. Or smaller celebrations with thier young familys. What a wonderful way to show God's love by showing it to someone who really needs to know someone cares.

Another great cause this holiday season's date is fast approaching. Monday is the last day to anysoldier.com. This allows you to send cards, gifts, etc... to soldiers presently stationed in the war zones of Iraq and Afghanistan. They have 840 contact soldiers, who then distribute the mailed items to over 40 thousand soldiers. But again, time is running out.

This is the season to think of our fellow man. To give your change to the bell ringer asking for you to care. The season of hope. It is our responsibility, as people on this earth, to reach out and help our fellow man. It is our job to care about each other.

The only way our society works, is if those who have give to those who have not. When I joined my church I promised to give in God's name with my acts, my time, my money, and my thoughts. There are so many great organizations out there. Even bussinesses can give. Encourage those places you work this holiday season to give where they can. It cost them little to do something to help a lot.

It is our job to take care of fellow man. In my lifetime, I have been involved with a lot of wonderful causes. If you know of a cause that deeply affects someone you love, What about the gift of a donation in thier name to thier cause. As an adult who lives with the pain of Rheamatoid Arthritis, I would love this more then another knick knack or more pots and pans. Because this gift directly affects me and the quality of the rest of my life. Susan G. Komen Cancer Foundation is a great place to donate if you have a loved one who has been touched by Breast Cancer. There are so many causes out there that seek thier funding from people who care. Look for organizations on a smaller level. But if this is something you are not familiar with please check it out before giving them your hard earned cash.

The rush of the holidays. This season is extremly busy for me personally as I am directing the children's christmas program at my church, as well as being a member of the adult choir, mother to three children not yet of school age, and giving where I can my time to causes I believe in this holiday season with my time.

Charity does not just have to be about money. Many places need your time as well. People were so happy to volunteer thier time to elect a candidate to office. They were glad to give thier money. But this is the season to remember, we must also help our fellow man. We now need to give of our time and our money, so that others will know of love for each other as mankind. We need to give with our hearts open.

I truely believe that when you give, you get what you give back a thousand fold. It may not always come back in the form it was given, but it is always returned by the love you have in your life.

When I was in college, I posted on a board on auggie about how I didnt have money for my books. One of the women on the board had read my post. She told me, "I have been where you are." a week later I recieved a check for 250$ for my books. Before I cashed it I called her in tears. I told her I could not pay her back. That I just could not accept it. I didn't have it to give back and would not have the money to give back to her. She told me, one day I will have the chance to "pay it back" but giving to someone else. And when I saw somebody who needed, to help them. That was all she ask of me.

How many times in your life has someone gave a gift of love to you? This Holiday season, have faith in mankind by helping your fellow man.