Old Friends and Uninteresting Lives

I am convinced my life has just become a total dud. I dont think I have a lot to say. We recently moved 1000 miles. i still do not know many people here. We found a church and I have to say the people here are so nice. It is so refreshing. People just are always kind. But as of yet, I sit in my house and hang pictures on the wall, or do laundry, or etc... So, right now my life is pretty boring. The kids always keep in fresh of course...but even they are pretty uninvolved right now in life.

In the last few days I have heard from a few old friends. Sometimes, I miss having a place where I could always find them online. Just to talk with. But it also makes my heart hurt a little. There was a time we were part of each other's everyday lives. Ironically both friends I heard from, I was closer friends with thier husbands before we all had kids, now I am closer to them. Of course, the fact I get along better with guys, is part of my problem. And honestly why my heart hurts a little when I think about the past.

These were people I could tell anything to. 2 people in particular...neither of the above couples. I married one of those 2 people though. And sometimes now, it is like we get so busy with life...there is no time just to talk. We are happy, and we have a good marriage. But sometimes as a couple, we just need to recharge our batteries. So, on Friday, Brian's folks are going to watch the kids and we are going to Chili's (my favorite) for dinner. I love when we go out to eat on date nights. We sit in the resturant over lots of food and talk for hours. I miss that, a lot. We need that once in a while to remind us that we were best friends first. When you have known someone for almost 15 years....you would think there would be nothing to say. But there is always something to say when we are alone and can talk without "mommy this" or "daddy that".

The other person, I dont know. I miss him and his friendship...but he has his own life now. Also married, and living his life. I hate that we have drifted apart. Actually I could say that about a few other people too. One who only lives about 5 hours away from me now. I hate the way that happens. Maybe, I am bias...because I have lost so many people in my life. But I hate letting people go. And yet, I do not feel like I should interfear. Thier lives have went on. The one friend, he is always happy it seems to hear from me. But, I guess I am just tired.

I guess the move and all the stress of money and jobs and then brian being gone for a month while I take care of the kids and get us ready to move is just weighing on me now that it is done. Isolated. That is how I feel lately. I can not even describe it.

Even my sister is tired of hearing from me lately. During the move I was calling her 2 or 3 times a week. I have not called in a week to give her a break. And yet, I am tired of making the effort to maintain relationships with people I am not sure want a relationship. Is it because I lead an uninteresting life? I have lived in 4 state's in 6 years. You would think it would be slightly interesting.