Stress and My RA

I cant help but just feel like I am out of spoons lately. I am just so tired. Stress takes its toll on me physically as well as emotionally.

To add to it, I am just not the type of person to fight back. I let people come into my life and take away my being okay. I let the stress get to me. And now, I just feel worn from it. I feel exhausted and I just need a break. I need the chance to relax.

I was reading the spoon theary link above, and I just started crying. It takes everything I have to make it through each day. To do just what I need to do. My dishes do not always get done, I can not lift the trash to take it out and it has to be done by someone else, I may fold the laundry but I can not lift it to put it away. I only have so much energy..and most days...There is never enough.

And when I have stress added to it, That alone takes away 1/3 of my spoons. Not only does it break my heart, it chips away at my reserve.

I do not understand people sometimes. I really do not. Why insist on making problems for people? Why try to stand in the way of someones marriage? why make trouble? And then, when you get in trouble for doing things you should not, Why do people insist on "getting back" at someone who did nothing to them in the first place. Expecially, when you do not even know who the heck this person is?

Beyond that, What am I to think? Who is to blame? And what does worrying and stressing about this cost the toll on my body. Is it ok that it depleates me? Is it ok that it chips away at me and my sanity? At what cost?

Always that question. At what cost?